this secret garden

refiner’s fire

August 26. 2012

Dear Olive,

Today we went to Shiloh Church and sat in the back as usual, in anticipation of a quick getaway in case you started to get antsy and scream.  Throughout the message, you were throwing cheerios like confetti and scribbling with crayons in your notebook.  When you became bored, your father had to take you out and that’s when you both missed the story that unexpectedly made me cry.

In the Bible, there are many references to God refining us like silver.  To understand the process of refining silver, a woman made an appointment with a silversmith to observe him work.  She watched as he took the silver cup and held it in the fire, sitting and waiting as he stared at the silver.  It began to glow from the intense heat.  The man explained that in order to remove the impurities, he had to hold it in the hottest part of the fire.  And the most important part, he said, is that I have to keep a constant eye on it because if I look away for even a second, I could miss the moment it’s done and it would be consumed by the fire.  The woman asked how he knew when it was done.  He smiled and said, That’s easy.  I know it’s finished when I can see my reflection in it.

There are moments when there’s a heaviness in my heart because of how impossible a situation or relationship feels.  I forget who I am, and life becomes confusing.  Today I remembered who God is.  He never takes His eyes off me, especially during the times I’m in the hottest part of the flame.  He holds me and says in His still small voice that all that’s been holding me back from joy is falling off me like rags, that His promise is gold, and the fire isn’t meant to consume but make me stronger.

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This entry was posted on August 26, 2012 by in letter to olive and tagged , .
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