this secret garden

we get excited …

We get excited about the New Year because we see it as a chance to start over.  There’s a glimmer of hope to recreate ourselves, to begin something fresh and untainted that will redeem our past.  We think that maybe this year will be different.  Maybe I’ll be a better person, the kind of person I can be proud of and know is a leap towards who I’m meant to be.

Every morning, I have a choice of how to begin my day.  I have a chance to start over because His mercies are new every morning.  There are times when I start the day on the wrong foot and spend much of the day lurking in shadows- being idle but not rested, being productive but stressed, lost in tangled thoughts, resenting and accusing, speaking words that bruise and cut, and feeling exhausted as if I’m chasing and never catching.  Those are the days when even if it’s three in the afternoon, I think the day’s already wasted, so it’s okay to waste whatever is left of the day.

But then there are those days when I fight the shadows and remember that every moment is a chance to start over, to change things and see a shift in the atmosphere.  In the midst of my brooding, I realize that that’s not who I want to be.  So I snap out of it and suddenly, everything comes into focus and brightens.  I had almost missed our baby’s smile and my husband’s tenderness.  I laugh and everything becomes even clearer and brighter.


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This entry was posted on December 31, 2011 by in qt / meditation and tagged , , .
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