this secret garden

“waiting does not diminish me”

I occasionally read R. Gazowsky’s blog.  He’s this sort of eccentric pastor at an SF Pentecostal church and a filmmaker (there was actually a documentary made about him).  I don’t agree with some of the things he writes, but there are other entries that knock my socks off.  This most recent one I read is called “Twelve Things You Should Do Every Morning“.  He had had a dream of a cup of morning coffee sitting next to a list of 12 things organized into 4 categories.  In the dream, God told him to do these 12 things at the beginning of every morning in order to ensure a spiritually powerful day.  One of the things on the list is to during prayer, confess a word of God spoken over your current situation.  He had written a list of confessions based on scriptures (listed below) for those who didn’t have a specific one.  I scanned the list, and one really popped out at me:

My position in Christ is that waiting does not diminish me anymore than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother.  I am enlarged in waiting.  I, of course, don’t see what is enlarging me. Romans 8:24

I prayed in tongues as I meditated on this confession and immediately began to sob.  Waiting, I think, is one of the most difficult things to do.  As I was praying this confession, God’s promises came to the forefront and outshone the task of waiting.  And I began to see the waiting as a time of joyful anticipation.  I started to remember all the times I’ve had to pray and wait… waiting for our church to rise up, waiting years for T. to know the true character of God, waiting to be called by God, waiting to realize who I truly am and what I’m capable of, and now waiting to become healthy and strong, waiting for the prophecies made about me to come to fruition, waiting for reconciliation with T.’s family, waiting for our church to meet the call, waiting for loved ones to know Christ, and waiting to begin a family with T.

In all this waiting, there is preparation.  I read in my devotional once that God’s goal for us is in the process, not in the end result.  It’s in the process that we have the opportunity to rely on Him and love Him.  “Waiting does not diminish me anymore than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother.”  Waiting is not a sign of failure or a time to be discouraged.  It’s a natural and required part of the process for His promises.  Just as an expecting woman senses and sees changes in her body, I’ve been witnessing changes, big and small, in my life.  Although most of those changes aren’t suddenly drastic, they have been gaining momentum and pointing to a sovereign God. He’s been challenging me to stop being so careless in certain areas of my life, and this list of 12 things to do every morning is something I’m going to start doing to be less careless, to stop eating the bread of idleness and having wandering thoughts.

These confessions are based on scriptures in The Message Bible and are paraphrased by Richard Gazowsky.

  • My position in Christ is life and this life is the light to live by; I now can see.  John 1:4
  • I am born again and I have submitted to the original creation; the Holy Spirit is hovering over me and the invisible is moving the visible.  John 3:5
  • My position of Christ in me has given me eternal life. John 3:16
  • My position in Christ has set me right with Him, has made me fit for Him and I have it all together with God. Romans 5:1
  • My position in Christ gives me sovereign life; I am grabbing with both hands this wildly extravagant life gift, this grand position that is setting-everything-right.  Romans 5:17
  • My position in Christ is that I no longer live under a continuous low-lying cloud of condemnation.  Romans 8:1
  • My position in Christ gives me what is coming to me–an unbelievable inheritance.
  • My position in Christ is that there is no end to what is happening; it is beyond speech and beyond knowledge. 1 Corinthians 1:5
  • My position in Christ leads me from place to place in one perpetual victory parade.  Through us He brings the knowledge of Christ. Everywhere I go, people breathe in the exquisite fragrance.  2 Corinthians 2:14
  • My position in Christ is that He absorbed the curses of life completely unto Himself and dissolved the curses over me. Galatians 3:13
  • My position in Christ is that Abraham’s blessing is present and available for me, a non-Jew, too.  We are all able to receive God’s life, His spirit in and with us by believing–just the way Abraham received it. Galatians 3:14
  • My position in Christ is that long before He laid down the earth’s foundations He had me in mind, He had settled on me as the focus of His love, to be made whole and holy by His love. Ephesians 1:4
  • My position in Christ is that waiting does not diminish me anymore than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother.  I am enlarged in waiting.  I, of course, don’t see what is enlarging me. Romans 8:24
  • My position in Christ is so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good. Romans 8:28
  • My position in Christ is that as Abraham entered into what God was doing for him, so will I, and that is the turning point. He trusted God to set him right instead of trying to be right on his own. So I am trusting God. Romans 4:3
  • My position in Christ was not given to me by doing everything that I am told to do, or filling out all of the right forms properly signed.  That eliminates personal trust completely and turns the promise into an iron-clad contract!  That is not a holy promise; that is a business deal.  A contract drawn up by a hard-nose lawyer and with plenty of fine print only makes sure that you will never be able to collect.  But if there is no contract in the first place, simply a promise–and God’s promise at that–you can’t break it.  Romans 4:14,15
  • My position in Christ is; I am to receive the inexhaustible riches and generosity of Christ.  Ephesians 3:8
  • Advertisements

    3 comments on ““waiting does not diminish me”

    1. hans
      July 31, 2010


      i hate waiting. but there have been blessings in the process like you say. i think that God is joyfully waiting with glee when we reach the end of the waiting process as well.

    2. mijin
      July 31, 2010

      mm, like FINALLY! he’s probably on pins and needles waiting at the end for us ^_^

    3. miran
      August 2, 2010


      thanks for posting this.. i just need to feel God’s presence so i know that i am not here alone.. thanks sista.. love ya.

    Leave a Reply

    Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

    You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

    Twitter picture

    You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

    Facebook photo

    You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

    Google+ photo

    You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

    Connecting to %s


    This entry was posted on July 31, 2010 by in qt / meditation and tagged , , , , , .
    %d bloggers like this: