this secret garden

that joy is mine

this was written last week…

* * *

During the month of May when spring is in full bloom, I spent much of my days in bed physically unwell.  The first week of bed rest was a week of distractions … surfing the web, reading books, watching Korean dramas.  I was feeling better and thought that I had done my job of resting, so I went back to work only to fall ill again.  This time it was more serious, and everything became still as I seeked God with all my heart, soul, strength, and mind.  My heart waited, and I began to hear deep whispers meant for only me that carved love notes onto the tablet of my heart.  Words from the book of Deuteronomy about life and the choice we all have. Words from the book of Isaiah about His goodness and sovereignty.

I watched Pastor Bill Johnson speak on, and something he mentioned in passing really struck me.  He was talking about what it means to press into God and spoke of his practice of reading the Word until something resonated with him.  Then he would meditate on those words to receive and absorb.  I began to make that a practice for myself.  A few weeks later, I heard a woman speak at YWAM who mentioned that she too read until something caused her heart to burn.  She referred to the story of the two men walking to Emmaus who unknowingly encountered the risen Jesus on the road.  They later asked each other, “Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?” (Luke 24:32)  Now when I read, I’ll try to read until my heart starts burning within me knowing that He’s opening something to me.

Today it was when John the Baptist explains his purpose: “The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom’s voice.  That joy is mine, and it is now complete.  He must become greater; I must become less.” (John 3:29-30)  People were trying to rile John up by telling him that someone else, this man named Jesus, was baptizing more people and that everyone was going to him.  John isn’t jealous or troubled but full of joy that the one he had been preparing the way for had arrived.  To die to oneself in order to serve a living God and live for His glory.  Yesyesyesyes, that joy is mine, and it is now complete.


One comment on “that joy is mine

  1. hans
    July 2, 2010

    i love you.

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This entry was posted on July 1, 2010 by in Uncategorized.
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